Why I Hate My Neighbors

I must admit.  I'm not a good cohabitator.  If I were an animal, I'd be a hermit crab.  I don't suffer fools--at all.

I've been living in my NYC matchbox apartment (paying luxury rent) going on four years now.  At the start of year two, my upstairs neighbors moved in.  Needless to say, the relative tranquility that made my husband and I forget about the cost of our rent left us at the moment of their arrival.

Loud from the start, these people behave as though they are living in their own world, separate from all other beings with the ability to hear.  The thumping, the bass, the video games, the TV shows, the stereo!  I don't want to harm those people but I'd like to murder their electronics!  I want to take a hammer to it all!

Building management doesn't care 'cause they get the rent once a month.  311 is a joke, and my husband tells me 911 is for gunshot wounds or something.

At one point, Tylenol and ear plugs became my best friends!  I was a prisoner of these people!  If they were awake, I was awake.  Since they never seemed to sleep, I was ALWAYS awake!

The guy whose name is on the lease told management it was just him and his girlfriend living up there, and I was out of my mind.  Yes, I was out of my mind!  I was out of my mind because I never had one moment of quiet, I had an unending headache, and couldn't sleep! 

Then, God sent me some justice!  I pipe broke in their apartment!  It wasn't the broken pipe, but what it led to that cleared everything up.   Both the super and idiot apartment manager went up there.  What did they discover?  There were 13 people living up there!!!  13 people in a one bedroom apartment!

I knew some foolishness was going on up there!   "Take that," I thought!  "Finally!  These people are gonna be gone!  Oh, sweet tranquility will come back to me!" The guy on the lease had to get all those people out of there. 

I felt so vindicated...but not for long.

The stupid apartment manager renewed his lease!  I should add that manager to my list, 'cause I hate him too!

Living next to these people continues to be an irritating misadventure.   

New York City has a noise ordinance.  I wish they'd enforce it.

Oprah Just Gave 300 Women (and a Few Guys) Better "O" Faces Than Their "Mates" Can

When I was in college, I used to dream of being part of Oprah's audience on her "My Favorite Things" shows.  How did those people get so lucky?  I wanted a car and some free food too!  I wanted a nice, new TV and stereo thingamajigs!  Why not me, Oprah?  Why not me?

Truth be told, I never tried too seriously to get in the audience.  Tickets to the show may be free, but getting there on my broke, college kid finances was not happening.

After watching the video below, I was back to:  Why not me Oprah?  Why not me?

Watch the "O" faces these people make anticipating Oprah's surprise for them on her first show of her 25th and last season. 


Catch the video after the jump--before O's people get it pulled!

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!!!

Hey, dude! It's not over!  The first rule of soccer:  ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE BALL!



Talk about premature elation!

Thanks to Respect the Intelect for this vid!

Funny Moments

As I was going through my husband's pictures, I came across these taken last winter.  I bought this coat because it was warm-keeping and the pattern wasn't one that I'd seen anyone wear.  Well, shortly after, I began to see this pattern everywhere!  I even saw a chair in this pattern.  "You should go sit on that," my husband told me.  Hmmm.

On this day, I sat down down in the train and my husband and I both noticed the woman and I were matching.  I couldn't escape this print anywhere in the city!!! It became a joke after a while--which explains the look on my face.

More pix after the jump.

1 Man, 3 Wives, 13 Kids: TLC to Brings You the Real "Big Love"

Plural marriage, or polygamy, is the practice of having more than one spouse.

I always wonder, however, why it is that the image of plural marriage is always one man and multiple women.   To be precise, it is one white man and a gaggle of seemingly low-esteemed white women.  To get even more real, the image is of Mormons.  When was the last time you saw any media coverage on plural marriages--in the US--that didn't involve these people?

This is why I had to give the side eye when I saw the preview of TLC's "Sister Wives".  It is more of the same fare.  One penis and the many plain-Jane vaginas that see him as their everything.

I mean, is there anywhere in the world that has plural marriage being between one woman and multiple men?  That would be something different and interesting to see.

TLC describes the show as:

"...the rarely seen world of plural families... an engrossing seven-part series following Kody Brown, his three -- soon to be four -- wives and their combined 13 children....revealing the unexpectedly tight-knit and loving relationships between Kody's wives." 

Plural marriage is part of these people's religious beliefs.  That's why they are so tight-knit.  This is not unexpected.

No, TLC.  You are not showing people something they rarely see.  This is a seven-part showcase of misogyny.  (Just look at who is the subject in that description--Kody!  The wives just orbit around him!)  No one will really look poorly at the cock, just the silly hens in the coop.  Look at that man and the stupid girls who pretend they don't mind sharing him.  Isn't that what you want people to see? 

Will you be tuning in?  Watch the promo and let me know what you think, after the jump.